Wonderful reasons for adopting a child

Genuine love for children
Although it may sound an implausible reasoning, there are many couples that adopt children due to their love for young ones and wanting to extend that love.  Their love for family and children is so compelling that they adopt, irrespective of whether they have natural heirs or not.

A couple with two or more children of the same sex
If a couple already has two boys, they may crave for a girl child or vice versa. With no control over the sex of a natural child, they fear trying again. But they find it much safer to go ahead and adopt a readymade child of the opposite sex. Some couples adopt children out of their specific choice of sex/gender of the child. They may even adopt two children of both the sexes and complete the family thus.

A couple with only one child 
Sometimes the 'only' child is a very lonely child. However, a couple, especially the mother, may not have the energy to go through the entire process of pregnancy and childbirth to pander to the needs of this only-lonely child. It seems much simpler to adopt a second child and complete the family. 

A single person who wants to experience parenthood
Miss Universe and film actress Sushmita Sen, is a single mother who adopted a child. As she puts it, - "this little girl needed a mom and I needed a child." It can be as simple and beautiful as that.  Not just celebrities, but also common people, who wish to remain single, adopt children, in order to experience the joys of parenthood.

To ease global population
Some people genuinely believe that the world does not need any more children. They feel for the children who do not have families and home. Therefore, they decide to adopt children from this overpopulated world. What a noble thought! It is one of the most touching ways of serving the social cause.  

Thallasaemics
Those suffering from thallasaemia or any other high-risk genetic problems or incurable diseases decide that it is safer to adopt a child than try for one.

If you're asking yourself whether you could adopt, we're here to answer the questions you many have.  Call us on 0800 633 5442 or email us cs-adoptionandfostering@worcestershire.gov.uk.  We're here to help you today.

8 reasons NOT to Adopt

1.  Infertility issues - Struggling with infertility and feeling a strong need to parent a child and not fully grieving the loss of the ability to have a birth child. It’s important not to skip the step of grieving the loss associated with infertility. It would not be fair if a child enters a family as a sort of replacement. It’s only a matter of time before the child doesn’t meet the expectations of the parents and the adoptive placement begins to fail. The adoptive parents may also begin to resent the child and feel unfulfilled as parents. The child will also feel this resentment from his parents. Take your time - Adoption may well be right for you and your partner soon, but should not be seen as an immediate solution.

2.  Needing a playmate - Adoption is not a way for a child already in the home to gain a playmate. The adopted child is not added to the home in order to meet the needs of the adoptive family. Again, expectations may not be met and the child will feel the family’s disappointment. There are other ways for a child to gain a playmate. Consider neighborhood children, joining play groups, or putting your child in activities or clubs.

3.  Save a relationship - Adoption is not a way to save a failing marriage. Just like couples who think a pregnancy will save a marriage, an adoption will not save a relationship - the starin it can put on a stable relationship is immense, let alone a struggling one. Adoption may distract a couple from core issues, but that distraction will only last for a while. In time the issues that brought about discontentment within the home will return once the new wears off the adoption. This is another unfair situation to bring a child into.

4.  Fear of empty nest - Some people, especially mothers, grow concerned about what life will be like once all of their children leave home – empty nest syndrome. It is then that some may consider adding more children to the family so that never happens. Adoption is not the answer. This would be another situation of the adoptive family looking for a child to meet their needs. Look at other ways the empty nest may be a blessing and open new doors and opportunities. If you feel you have love, time and patience to spare then why not consider Fostering?

5.  My spouse wants to adopt - Don’t agree to adopt a child just to please a spouse who really wants to adopt. If you are not interested in adding to the family through adoption, then don’t do it. This is another situation where the child will feel the dissension within the family. Adoption could put a huge strain on a relationship and therefore must be a decision made by both parties.

6.  Meeting the family’s need - Adoption is not a way to gain attention for yourself, or to meet any need you may have, not even your need to parent a child. Adoption should not be about you needing a child. Adoption is about you being ready to parent a child who needs a family.

7.  Something or someone is missing - The adoptive family feels the need to fill a hole within their own lives. A hole that may be due to the loss of another child. Again, the child should not be there to fill your family’s need. The adopted child should not be expected to fill the spot of another child.

8.  A calling - Adoption is not a way to repay a debt to society, a good deed, or a “Christian Duty.” It’s about providing a home for a child that needs a home and you being willing and ready to parent that child through the good and the bad. These reasons may spark or trigger your interest in adoption, but will not be enough to sustain you as a family while parenting your adopted child into adulthood.

For more details on Adoption Worcestershire, see our FAQ's or contact us direct on 0800 633 5442.  Our foster care and adoption website also has much more information, we encourage anyone considering fostering or adoption to take your time to navigate through the site. Thank you.

Tips on Adoption through tough times

In this post we write about the best tips on adoption through tough times as being an adoptive parent isn't always so easy. With it's own set of unique challenges as well as getting caught up in meeting everyone else's needs you sometimes forget looking after yourself.

So here's a few tips when adopting and times are tough

Eating correctly - Often when stressed we forget to eat properly resulting in under-nourishing, Even if times are tough or you're constantly busy make time for them healthy regular snacks and meals for yourself, this will help when you have a lack of energy after all the running round which brings us on to the next point...

• Proper Sleep – As much as it gets harder to get the right nourishment to replace all the energy you burn a day but when you don't have the proper sleep, this is when your health can start to deteriorate. Try to have over ideally 6 hours sleep per day to maintain a healthy balance, even if you hear of people who can function good with only 4 hours it's never always a good idea to keep doing it.

• Make time for family or friends - it's always good when you can have time to meet up with your family or friends, even just for a talk and a cuppa' tea it'll help you from going mental, as looking after children day-in and out without seeing anyone else isn't an ideal situation for anyone.

• Improve family routine – What can be done to improve the daily routines? is there anything you can do which will help make more time in the day to relax or less stress on the children, this is something worth considering and solving.

• Ask for help – This is something that is mentioned again and again, it can be hard facing your fears and opening up to people but when there's a chance they can understand your situation and shred some light then it's always best to try and ask someone for help.

• Have fun with your children – Parents can often get too caught up in work or dealing with tough daily situations where the fun is forgot about, remember when we was a child we always wanted to go on little adventures, play with new toys or spend time together.. try to keep things simple yet enjoyable.

Last but not least Dont forget about how your family are, regardless of all the tough times you're faced with in day to day life your family is still making progress and will do for many years, as adoption parents you can sometimes forget how well your family is actually doing, never forget this!